In today’s climate of social injustice, a global health pandemic and a shift in the world as we know it has made it that much tougher to navigate parenting. But imagine how our kids must feel? They’re young people trying to explore their identity & nuances in a rapidly changing society that they are just starting to learn about. It’s very easy for them to feel unheard or as if what they feel doesn’t matter. Today, I would like to share 5 positive affirmations I tell my kids everyday so they feel heard in a world where so many things are vying for our undivided attention.
You Are Important
We have to face reality that our kids are growing up in an era where it’s easy to feel unimportant. Being a regular person amidst a society of social media likes, going viral, social media stars & even reality television can all make a child feel lost. As they grow, it’s essential that our kids hear that they are important. Bonus? Try following up with a why. My 6 year old is in the “why” phase so we add a new “why” every chance we get, which brings me to our second affirmation.
That’s A Great Question
Our younger son and daughter haven’t hit the “why” phase just yet but we’re getting a crash course with our 6 year old. Their endless questions at this age all serve a higher purpose. It shows that they are genuinely curious about the world & how things work around them. By affirming their question was great, they’ll build up their confidence to ask questions in any setting.
While it can be draining, look at these questions as teaching moments with your child. You have the opportunity to educate and provide them with the knowledge about everything around them before they become molded by outside influences & perceptions. Don’t have an answer to one of their questions? Be honest and either research together or let them know you’ll find out and get back to them once you have the answer. They get to learn 2 lessons; how to use external resources + how to be honest when you don’t know the answer to a question.
You Make Me Happy
Emotions and stress levels are heightened right now. It’s important to remember that even when we are having bad days, our kids may internalize our frustration & moodiness as their own fault. Story time! A few years back we all overslept on a school day. You know how it goes, all of a sudden your kid decides to take longer to eat their breakfast, the baby decides to have a blowout diaper just as you’re heading out the door, etc. Needless to say we were late to leave the house & got stuck in Belt Parkway traffic, (New Yorkers know…lol). My mood was SPENT.
What I didn’t realize is that my son carried my frustration with him for his entire day. When I picked him up from school later that day, he greeted me with, “Are you still mad Mommy?” That was a gut punch. I had to explain to him that regardless of whatever I am feeling at any given moment, he makes me happy & I’m honored to be his mom. We don’t believe in masking emotions in front of our kids because we want them to understand how to handle all emotions in a positive way. We’re also human, so being accountable when we don’t handle them properly and speaking openly about the cause behind our emotions is just as important.
I Love You
Our 6 year old will randomly just come up to us and say, “I love you, you’re the best mommy.” He does the same with Dad & his siblings. It’s a great feeling and equally beautiful to watch. It’s caused both Dwayne & I to take pause and make sure we say that “I love you” with one another and our kids.
Many of us grew up not hearing these 3 words because our parents genuinely thought that we knew that they did. If you came from a household where your parents worked long hours to provide for you and/or your siblings, that is likely the reason why they believed this. We can’t equate love with shelter, food, etc. Love is us pouring into and nurturing them to grow into their highest selves. When they hear “I love you”, they hear “I see you, you matter to me”.
It’s OK To Make Mistakes
When it comes to mistakes, children (and adults) can develop a complex over making mistakes. Growing up this was a HUGE hindrance for me that I carried into my 30’s. I’m just now starting to get a handle on it. As parents, Dwayne and I make it a point to teach our kids that mistakes are invaluable to the learning process and our individual growth.
When we know better, we do better. We also let them know they are not any less of a person or loved less because of a mistake. This teaches them that their value will not be measured against their mistakes.
There is no better time to teach our kids these values and affirmations then now. Practicing these and other positive affirmations daily helps to build our children’s self-confidence, self-love and self-respect. At the end of the day, we are raising children that will one day become adults. Let’s equip them with the necessary tools to feel heard, feel loved & become the best version of what they’re destined to become.
